Posted by: jeanne | November 24, 2008

cancerart 11? 13


i don’t seem to be able to hold the camera straight enough to take a decent picture. at first i thought the camera was focusing on the breast holes, so i replaced them, thinking that would make it focus on the canvas. but i still must be shaking it. oh well.

yesterday i got up the courage to put on the skin tones. burnt sienna, yellow ochre, and white. when jim saw it he remarked how pink it was, and that it needed to be both yellower and whiter, so i mixed up some more. you can see the white (pink) on the right arm, and really everywhere else on the skin. when i finished with that, the shadows looked too harsh, again, and jim told me to put a really thin coat of white on the edges and rub it in. so i did.

i find i’m doing a whole lot of rubbing paint in and around with my fingers. i used a rag on the background, but on the figure it’s easier and more thorough to wipe it with greasy fingers. so i’m rubbing and touching on my daughter the whole time. it’s very visceral.

i finally called my surgeon’s nurse after going to the drugstore and being looked at like a criminal when i asked for surgical thread for stitches. they looked at me like i’d asked for syringes and methodone, and said no in an offended tone. well, fuck them. maybe they think i’m going to do medical experiments on jim or the animals. oooh. i’ll just stick this dog ear on the canvas somewhere.

the nurse was all excited. i’d already gotten them to donate a stethoscope for a prior project, and she were delighted to contribute to my angry cancer survivor art project. she wanted to why it had to be angry art, and i said it was something i’d been thinking of for a long time, and besides i was doing a picture of my daughter that i could then cut out and frame just the head and shoulders of, for xmas or something.

today i went and turned the canvas upside down, because after i’d gotten thru putting on white, and then covering it with more darks, i noticed that there was something wrong with the mouth. and something wrong with the eyes. and the width of the face. all the reasons i have leftit so fuzzy and indistinct until now.

so i turned the canvas upside down and turned the source photo upside down, and ratcheted the easel up all the way so the face was at my eye level. then i took the source photo and a brushfull of burnt umber, and started adjusting the darks, shifting them over, broadening the mouth. it’s amazing the details you can see when you turn something upside down. you notice nothing but details because your brain doesn’t want to make sense of upside down. it just wants to read it as face, but can’t, because the eyes and the mouth are in the wrong places. so it fakes it. but when you actually look at the details, they’re not where you’d expect them to be looking at a right-side up face.

anyway, the face looks better now. and once i pick up the sutures, i’ll be ready to start sewing the bra onto the canvas. it’s going to be painstaking, but i’m looking forward to it. it’ll mean that i’m mostly done with the painting part of it.

as far as xgiving preparations go, my mom is busy becoming too sick to travel, my one brother has already bowed out, my other brother is being silent, none of my other siblings can get here at all at all, and we’ll see which of our friends we’ve invited actually show up. but i’ve got an endless stock pot on the hob at the moment, and we’re going to do the final shop, for meat and vegetables and other fixing types of things. tuesday will be lots of cooking, as will wednesday, and by thursday all i’ll have to do is heat shit up. and then it’ll be december. i’ve only gotten halfway to the 50,000 word goal in my novel, but i’m satisfied that if i incorporate it into my daily routine as one of my daily accomplished projects, then i’ll be able to finish it this winter, maybe even december, tho nov-dec are my busiest months.

anyway, off to shopping now.


  1. You are rocking it and it is so interesting to see how you do the process.

    Her skin looks great and I think her neck is awesome.

    I wrote something on my blog today and wonder if you can relate.

    Have a great thanksgiving. Ours in Canada was in October, but now I want more turkey, okay what is the address. ha ha.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: