Posted by: jeanne | October 13, 2009

swine flu diary 6

okay, maybe i’m not done.

the day before yesterday i felt pretty rotten, so i took a long nap.  but nothing more.  so i wrote an entry saying i was done.  fine.

my daughter is getting worse.  like i said, she let me dose her with some medicine, and that means she had to be sick.  she was worse the next day, a rough but nonproductive cough, loads of sinus drainage, fatigue, and she was shaking with the effort to move around.  she’d had vomiting and diarrhea yesterday morning, and she never went to work last night.  today she’s much better, but right now she’s having a nap before going in to her job.

yesterday i dosed her and hung out with her, and fed her soup and home made bread, and was happy that i’d gotten to spend some time with her.  her baby, who i watch alot, was running a 99.5 temperature, and was stroppy, so he spent most of the day in his playpen being quiet or watching movies. he felt cooler this morning, but he was still cranky.

here’s how it hit me yesterday.  i felt okay all day, but i did spend a lot of time sitting in bed reading because i wasn’t up to doing any art in the studio.  i made bread, and ate the freshly baked heel with loads of butter (yummm), and an hour or two later had a bison burger that jim made.  allison had some, jim had some.  an hour after eating, the cramps started.  we were on the evening dog walk with the baby in his stroller, and all of a sudden i couldn’t walk upright, it hurt so bad.  but i went on, and we got back to the house and i put the baby to bed and got ready to eat our dessert in bed – chocolate pudding – but my guts were hurting so bad i put it back in the fridge.  it was obvious to me that i was going to have diarrhea.

but i was not prepared for the pain.  cramps so bad you break out into a sweat and feel cold and hot all at once, and get all lightheaded and tingly sitting on the pot.  and after the first little bit of poop, which was semi compact, it turned to liquid.  and then i was up and down to the bathroom for the next hour, rocking and moaning and sounding either like i was having really great sex, or was in dreadful pain.  at some point i got nauseous, and then i tossed my dinner in several great heaves.  and still i wasn’t done.  the last few trips to the bathroom were succeeded by my running back to bed to huddle next to jim and drift off for a few moments until the churning started up again.  such pain!  and i’m such a wimp for pain.  it no sooner has to start up then i start wondering at which point i’d die to escape it.  and we’re only talking about cramps, here, not the devastations of cancer or anything like that.  how will i deal with that, if i can only moan and wish i were dead and all i’ve got are cramps?

this morning the pains started up with my first sip of coffee, so i put it aside and went back to sleep until about 10.  and then every so often after my yogurt, and every so often thru the day, i would get another rush of pain and then a fart, or a squirt of – fresh blood.

seems i wrenched something in my guts last night.  you’re not supposed to get fresh blood.  it was no more than a couple of teaspoons thru the day, and it seems to be over now, but i’ll be watching.  my guts feel all swollen and tender inside, and i’m going to have soup and a slice of bread tonight for dinner and then wait and see if the pain starts up again.  and really, i feel fine except for the tiredness of having gone thru that ordeal.  i don’t feel sick.  but it wasn’t food poisoning because nobody else had it.

my kid and i sat on the computer the other day and ran her symptoms thru webmd.  over the past two weeks she’s had all the symptoms associated with swine flu, but they’ve been spread out over two weeks.  classic cases of swine flu (can there be something classic about a new virus?) happen very quickly, sometimes only hours before you’re flat on your back wanting to die.  but what i’ve got, and my sister had in august, and my kid has now, is mild, but lasts for a long time, and seems to run the gamut of the symptoms, but not in any order and not very seriously.  it’s as if the virus is checking off the symptoms one by one and moving on to the next one.


  1. Now I have been having the cramps in stomach for about two months and my stomach is so tender from constantly going to the bathroom.

    Maybe it is all connected.


    • or not. unless you got sick 2 months ago and this has lingered. when’s the last time you visited the gi for a colonoscopy? my bowels have been strange since last xmas, and they can’t find anything, so what’s affecting me is stress. how’s the stress level for you these past two months? that’s probably it, isn’t it? love, jeanne

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