Posted by: jeanne | December 31, 2013

tall blue beings with wings

i have a story to tell about this. something like 15 years ago when my marriage broke up, i spent a lot of time and money getting various forms of psychic readings and healing sessions with various people.

around this time i began to feel very alienated.

from hating myself for much of my life, i had decided that i really loved myself and loved my life, and this is what prompted me to leave a fairly dry marriage. and the various healings and advisings were part of my process.

i did a lot of past life therapy with a wonderful therapist. i found several lives of interest and importance to me, things that helped to explain why i am the way i am. i learned to trust the images that came to me, rather than dismissing them as obvious fantasies.

i did a healing with someone who did lots of stone and crystal work on me while i lay under a tented cloth.

i did a healing with someone who had the balls to yell at god for fucking things up here on earth, and learned that i could do that too if i chose.

i did a session of tragering with someone who wasn’t experienced enough to deal with me, and she damaged my neck.

i did the first level reiki initiation, and it worked, even tho i didn’t believe in it. but then i got supersensitive to electric fields and couldn’t use my laptop after that. and i also had a dream that warned me not to take any more authority figures over me. no more teachers. i stopped doing reiki by name (which after all is only energy, even tho they try to trademark it and charge for it).

i went to a seer who told me i wasn’t in karma anymore (meaning i was now god, and had to make the sun come up every day), but if i was interested in coming back to karma they had a nice life planned for me.

it was right before the seer told me i was out of karma (and so he couldn’t read me) that i began to realize i wasn’t really human. i was a tall blue being with wings. and there were a very few of us on this earth, and we were spaced evenly around the earth to keep things in balance, so i would never meet the others. i was hoping to meet one and form a pair so i wouldn’t feel so lonely.  my role on the earth was to be a sort of psychic cop, to find those who assumed spiritual authority over others (teachers, gurus) and judge them. and i always found them wanting – total assholes, actually. my job wasn’t to do anything about them (karma will take care of that), but just to observe them and render judgment.

but this was a thankless, joyless job, and i didn’t really want to be god and make the sun come up every day (which of course is a metaphor),  so i gradually stopped identifying with the tall blue being and came back into karma.

i went to the seer knowing i was a tall blue being, and he couldn’t read me because i was no longer human.

sometime around then i got cancer. 911 happened and the country turned to war instead of soul searching, and i just gave up all hope and asked god to take me. and i heard god say ‘ok’. it was a shimmery kind of sound. i immediately changed my mind, but it wasn’t that simple, and i had to learn a whole host of things in order to heal myself. and that was 12 years ago, and i’m still here with renewed purpose. i’ve adopted a quantum consciousness, realize there’s no black and white, no right and wrong, but all things mixed together depending on who and how and why. it’s complicated, and not the point of this story.

anyway, years passed and i only thought about the tall blue beings with wings when i was meditating.

i have this meditation where i go up thru various levels above the earth, and install and tinker with my little patch of responsibility for the earth. the metaphor includes netlike structures at various distances out from the earth – the first level is jittery with energy and i don’t stay there.  the second level used to be less crowded, but now it’s like huge apartment blocks in low orbit, and my little spot is buried in the middle of everybody else’s. the third level used to be only a few people putting structures in. i had a little space with an armchair where i installed a fairly large crystal and charged it to do whatever it was supposed to be doing.

i hadn’t been to this level for a few years, and when i went back it was becoming the same kind of apartment block – endless corridors, lots of concrete, lots of noise. so i knocked a hole in the wall and took out one whole side of it so that i could see the peaceful surrounding space again. i reset the crystal. the last time i visited, the other night, in fact, others had been there to enjoy the view, and there was trash i had to clean up.

i’d been flying on to the fourth level for some time. this is the space between worlds, just underneath the flight lanes connecting the planets and the stars, and several years ago i discovered to my delight that even tho there were only a few blue beings with wings on the earth, there was a collection of them at the metaphorical lagrange point, where gravity is equalized (neutralized) by the balance of the planets.  they don’t come any closer.

i flew over and greeted them, but didn’t really ask them anything, just hung out with them for awhile, feeling the love. i would like to know what they’re doing there, but rather than interrogating them (on the off chance that my ego would supply the answers) i just greeted them and went back to what i was doing. usually i drifted off to sleep at that point, and didn’t really have the opportunity.

now, when i go to the fourth level, i have installed a long flagpole structure from my premises on the third level, and just left it like that without building anything. i’m not sure i want to be part of a huge buildup of energy, the way it happened on the third level. i’m not sure there’s supposed to be anything jutting out into the flight lanes between planets and stars.

the blue beings are tall and thin, with blue bodies and black hair, and their wings are insignificant. not the magnificent wings of our stereotypical angels, and not bird wings, and not bat wings. when i was doing reiki, i asked the ‘master’ about them, and all he wanted to know was whether they were nordics or reptilian, but they were neither. and all the searching i had done on the internet (tall blue beings with wings, blue angels, blue ETs) turned up nothing.

then i became interested in ayahuasca, because if i’m going to die (and who isn’t) i still have some in depth work that needs to be done because i’m still full of anger and conflicts, and this dilutes my ability to do good. so i asked around for some time, and suddenly last summer someone in my town knew someone who was into that and my name got forwarded to a group that has the shaman come in once every few months for a ceremony.

so i went to an orientation meeting. now, i hadn’t been around organized newagers for some years, because i reached the conclusion that they’re as conformist as all the other organized groups, and just as gullible. but i went to this meeting and was shocked by what a sausage fest it was.

the men were in charge, were respected, were knowledgeable. the women were decorative and servants. it was that simple, to my eyes, tho to themselves they all looked very advanced and egalitarian. to me it was as sexist and restrictive as any fundamentalist religion. and the guys hit on me, really obviously relishing fresh meat. so my back went up, and i didn’t relax and try to make friends, and left the gathering with a bad taste in my mouth. that’s when i decided to organize a ceremony myself, with mainly women, thru other channels.

i read an ayahuasca novel by graham hancock, called entangled, which features a tall blue being (with wings) who is an angel that created the world and all the beings on it (so, god). so i asked him about it, and he only said “there is a persisting mythos about the Blue Angel, in many different cultures.”

and then i read something the lipstick mystic (whose site seems to be under attack at the moment) wrote about how our whole perception of angels and god is backwards, how they are actually prison guards and torturers, extradimensional vampires. this went pretty well with what i’d already concluded. after all, xianity is a death cult, which is why the right wing republican xians worship a gun toting jesus. and looking at the shape of the world we live in, it’s fairly clear to me that our xian god is at best a demented younger sibling of whatever god we assume is all powerful and good. so when i read the warning about angels, and read further some warnings about the demons that work with ayahuasca, my hackles went up, i realized she was right on the money, and all my desire left me to do powerful psychoactive drugs (especially in the company of sausages who wanted to make me while i was vulnerable).

so that’s my story. everybody is god, i don’t need teachers, i can heal myself. patriarchy is evil.

by the way, i have a wonderful life now.

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Responses

  1. Just a quick note, Jeanne, to thank you for this fearless, descriptive, and fascinating blog entry! 🙂 I want to do some of my own meditating on the blue beings with wings and also check with some other seers about them; but since many beings whom humans have contacted in meditative states do seem to have their own agendas (angels and the like) we should remain cautious.

    If you have genuine perception that you were once such a being, that would make sense in many ways — I work with and encounter many people who remember lives as other types of beings, not just within a traditional human incarnational cycle.

    And when it comes down to it, our consciousness is so ancient that NONE of us are just humans, anyway! 🙂 So I think all these ideas bear examination.

    I will post more about this at my blog up ahead and follow up on our Facebook commenting. Happy new year to you, brave and powerful lady! 🙂

    • used to be in this life, not in some other. in others i come up as regular people who screwed up. in this life i was here to be a cop until i decided to come back into karma.


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